From Where I Sit

By Pat Spilseth, Columnist

“May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! 

My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!”  ~Alister Crowley, British poet

During this New Year’s Eve celebration my two six-year-old granddaughters had a fun-filled sleepover at my daughter Kate’s home. Remember how much fun you had when your mom said you could invite some girlfriends to your house to have a sleep-over? Dolled out in hair curlers, acne cream and flannel jammies or short baby doll PJs, it was a happy night of little sleep and squealing laughter.

Those same sleepovers are still occurring today. My two granddaughters, kindergartners Ellie and Charlie, had a riot New Year’s Eve dancing and eating pizza, scoops of ice cream and candy. Outfitted in matching PJs they blew squawking noise makers and joyfully threw in the air clouds of glittery silver confetti. You had to be a younger parent than I was to handle the noise and the mess…what a good, memorable time the girls had!

Though boys probably didn’t have these parties, do you remember having girl friends sleep over at your house back when you were in grade school and high school? Though Ruth and I are seniors in our seventies, this weekend my Luther College pal and I had an old-fashioned “sleep-over” at my house. We had long chats about the 17 girls we lived with in college at a campus cottage next to President Farwell’s home and fraternity houses back in 1966. We decided to have a phone marathon. The gals were surprised with our 30 minute calls and news of old roommates. We called to chat all afternoon to Avonne and Pris in Minnesota, Kris in California, Mary in Wisconsin, Jani in Texas and Ellen in Connecticut. We didn’t try to call Australia, where Mary lives, but we reached many of the girls or left messages. The friendships we formed in college are still strong. We try to gather every other year somewhere around the U.S.; however, aging and illnesses are diminishing our meetings.

Friendships seem to be valued more throughout the holidays. We give gifts to one another, hope to connect with long-lost friends back in town for the holidays with their families, and vow that we’ll be better about keeping in touch. But we’re busy people; we realize that there has to be a priority on that friendship to stay in touch throughout the year. In 2014 my Sunnyside group of girlfriends from Luther College days in the 1960s renewed our friendships with a three day get-together at my house on the lake. There’s nothing better than friends with history! Girlfriends are top on my list of pleasures!

In a recent newspaper article, businessman Harvey Mackay wrote a column about how important winning friends is both at the office and at home. He cited Aristotle who ranked friendship among the highest of all virtues. Aristotle believed that there were three kinds of friendship.

1. Friends who find it pleasurable to be in each other’s company.

    2. Friends of utility, two people who daily assist each other.

3. Friendships of virtue. When two people admire each other, they will be on their best behavior to not jeopardize that friendship.

Friends take time. Checking in with one another either with phone calls, texts, emails or dropping in at their home or business is important to maintain that relationship. Friends don’t ignore each other. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, as that old saying goes. People will eventually forget about an absent friend. Friends pay attention to the others feelings, body language and voice inflections. Friends acknowledge each others strengths and accept weaknesses.

I’ve learned that I enjoy and realize how important it is to have friends of various ages. The experiences and advice of an older person as well as younger friends’ computer facility and contemporary views enlarge my life. My own children are now adults and try to keep me current with politically correct language and technology. My mother always advocated having friends of many different ages. As I’ve aged, I recognize the validity of that advice.

If you do make resolutions for a better 2024, just accept that you’re only human. Those big ideas may last only a short week or two, but don’t despair. Plan to put more fun into your life. Enjoy each and every day. The end comes all too soon.

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To contact Pat, email: pat.spilseth@gmail.com.