From Where I Sit

By Pat Spilseth, Columnist

Yearly, around the end of May, I like to drive out to the graves of my parents and remember … This weekend it was a week earlier than usual; though the cemetery grass was mowed, the flowers hadn’t been placed at the graves.  I think florists wait until the weekend of Memorial Day to plant brilliant red geraniums in pots at each grave site.  The cemetery looks lovely with the flowers against a sea of green grass, a peaceful resting place for our loved ones.

Around Memorial Day, it’s customary to visit graves of loved ones. On Decoration Day, also known as Memorial Day, we remember the sacrifices that service men and women have made.  Cemeteries are often decorated with red geraniums and red poppies on Memorial Day. Wanting to learn about customs that people around the world observe regarding death, funerals, graves  and cemeteries, I browsed the internet to find that no one has come up with a specific date when people began burying their dead; however, skeletal remains in the caves of Neanderthals indicate some kind of burial ceremony was held 200,000 years ago. 

The idea of an afterlife still puzzles many. Ancient Greeks believed the dead were ferried over the river Styx by Charon, who charged a fee for his services. Without the fee, the dead could be detained for a hundred years before being permitted to cross. A small coin was placed in the hands of the dead so they could pay Charon. The Chinese furnish the dead with paper money and passports. 

Difficult for many to understand, others find the idea of an afterlife comforting. The soul or spirit was often believed to be either a miniature or a full-sized person who had died. The Huron, a Native American tribe, believed that spirit had arms, legs, head, and torso just like the person whose death had released it. The Nootka, a tribe in Vancouver Island of British Columbia, believes the soul to be a tiny person living within a person’s head, set free when its host body died.  Some South Americans believe that the soul is birdlike and can fly from the body at will, often in sleep. When the soul returns, the sleeper awakens. If the soul does not return, the sleeper dies.

Funerals are happy occasions for Buddhists who believe in reincarnation. Death frees the soul and returns it to the path leading to nirvana, where all misery and karma cease. Coffins of a Buddhist are taken to the funeral in a brightly decorated carriage, carried three times around the temple, then brought in where it is set among flowers and gifts.

Many kinds of coffins and burial customs seek to protect the body from predators and grave robbers. A tree was one of the earliest coffins, a symbol of being returned to the Great Mother, the tree of life. Today, often bodies are embalmed to preserve the body. Crypts and vaults of concrete or granite contain family members are placed above ground. In Africa, many native people smoke corpses to preserve them. After fires burn for a month, the bodies are unearthed, wound in great swaths of cloth and the smoked corpse is placed upright in the hut where the person died.

In the Hindu faith the deceased are given a ceremonial washing, wrapped in a burial cloth and placed in a coffin. Within one day of death, the coffin is carried to a place of cremation by six male relatives, placed on a stack of wood and covered with flowers. Melted butter is poured over the coffin to help it burn as the eldest male relative lights the funeral pyre. 

The Jewish faithful bury their dead in a plain coffin after the body has been washed and dressed. Funerals usually take place the day after the death. First the coffin is taken to the synagogue, then to the place of burial. Mourners often cut a portion of their outer clothes as a sign of grief. No flowers are allowed as the traditional service is kept simple. The rabbi says words of remembrance, and the coffin is placed in the grave. The closest male relative says a prayer called the Kaddish to help the soul travel to the Olam Ha’ba, the world to come, and the family fill the grave with earth. 

Muslims prefer not to use coffins. If possible, the dead are buried on the day following death. The body is washed, perfumed and wrapped in three cotton burial cloths. Large graves and headstones are not permitted to mark a Muslim burial site, but the grave is raised above ground level. The body is buried facing Mecca, the sacred city.toward which all Muslims turn when they pray.

Marking graves goes back to Paleolithic humans of 250,000 B.C.E. when they placed stones and other markings on graves to keep evil spirits from rising from the burial place or to distinguish one grave from another. Tombs were constructed from rock in Egypt and pyramids housed the coffins of the dead. Thousands of slaves worked to create the mystical pyramids, amazing feats of construction. As soon as a Pharaoh ascended the throne, his loyal subjects began preparing his tomb. Egyptians extracted the brain and intestines, cleaned out the body through an incision and filled body cavities with spices. The body was sewn up and set aside to lie in salt for 70 days, then placed in gummed mummy cloth and placed in an ornamental case. Poorer classes of people were merely salted. Egyptians provided weapons, food, drink a furniture in the tomb with the mummy. Slaves were buried with the wealthy Egyptians so they might have good service in the next life. Sometimes a child was buried alive with a dead parent so the parent would not miss the child left behind.

The Irish wake is a celebration to honor the deceased. Legend tells us that in the fifth century, when St Patrick was dying, he requested his friends to set aside their grief; instead, rejoice at his comfortable exit from a world of sadness, sin and confusion. He instructed each person at his deathbed to take a drop of something to drink. Some believe that the Irish wake was originally held to prevent the dead person’s restless soul from prowling around the homes of surviving family. Friends would gather in the family home as the deceased lay in its coffin awaiting burial. Respects were said, memories shared, and mourners would eat, drink and dance to relieve their tensions and fears. The party would last as long while they waited to see if the corpse was going to “wake up.”

Another theory about the wake is that lead cups were often used to drink ale or whiskey, a potent combination that would literally knock a person out for a couple of days. A friend walking home from the tavern might come upon an unconscious person and assume he was dead. He’d be carried home and laid out on the kitchen table for a day or so before being prepared for burial. Friends would gather, eat, drink and talk as they waited to see if the corpse was going to “wake up.”

Cremation became one of the earliest methods of disposing of a dead body. Practiced widely in the ancient world, today cremation is often the favored, less expensive method of relatives honoring the dead. The Vikings sometimes buried their kings and queens in their ships, but the traditional Viking funeral was to set the dragon-headed longboat afire and out to sea to burn. In Greenland, the Vikings believed there was danger of pollution from the evil spirits that lurked around the corpse. They burned the dead body immediately as well as every object in the dead person’s house.

In the past Christian doctrine discouraged cremation fearing the if the body were burned, there would be only ashes to be resurrected. Today many theologians believe that the same power of Christ that can resurrect the body in the grave can also resurrect the cremated body. 

Black is often the universal color of mourning; however, in Japan and China, pure white is worn when mourning. Red is the color of mourning in Africa. 

Customs dealing with death and burial differ widely throughout the world and as time has evolved. Today’s Celebration of Life ceremonies are comforting to families and friends of a loved one who has died. Memorial Day is an honored tradition to remember and be grateful for the living memories of those who are no longer with us.

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To contact Pat, email: pat.spilseth@gmail.com.