Minnewaska Musings

by Paul Gremmels

When I was newly enlisted in the Marine Corps and still stateside, my unit was granted a ten day leave over Christmas and New Year’s.  I excitedly told the Marine that bunked next to me that I would be going home for the holidays. He was a very funny, good natured and likable guy that everyone called Benny. He said that he thought he might go to Florida, because, as he said, “I heard it was nice there.” In my youthful naiveté, it slowly dawned on me that not everyone had grown up with joyous memories of celebrating the holidays with family, presents, feasts and parties. Not everyone had a family to celebrate with. Not everyone, had a home to return to.

I have made it a tradition of sorts to watch the movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles sometime during the holiday season. Technically, it is a “Thanksgiving” movie, and a comedy, which is indeed funny. But it’s really a beautifully written story about empathy, compassion and human understanding. A movie that shows the viewer how you should and should not act toward your fellow human beings by putting two people from opposite ends of the socio-economic spectrum, unwillingly together.

   The character Neal Page (played by Steve Martin) is an executive working for a high-end marketing firm, who, while on business in New York, becomes an unlikely travel partner with a traveling salesman by the name of Del Griffith (played by John Candy).

Every time I watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles, the ending always tugs at my heart. No matter how many times I’ve seen it, the scene when Neal discovers that Del, from no fault of his own, is homeless and has been for years, always unravels me. Neal of course, does the right thing and invites Del to his home. A massive house, where no one is hungry, cold or lonely. As they are walking up the sidewalk to Neal’s mansion, after their long and arduous journey, Del says, “Boy, you’re one lucky guy Neal.”

If you’ve lived long enough, you’ll chalk up some regrets, that’s how life works. When watching PTA I often think of my aforementioned Marine buddy, Benny. How I should have reached out to him. How I should have invited him home with me for the holidays. But I didn’t and sadly, it’s too late for that now. It didn’t dawn on me until years later that that would have been the right thing to do. It did however, teach me to be watchful of people who could be enduring great suffering and loneliness.

It would be easy in this season to tie this essay up with a nice little bow about brotherly love, happy endings and holiday cheer, but I’m not going to do that. I am instead going to offer some advice. Advice drawn from those early life regrets. That not just during this season, but all year long, to be conscious of those around you. Not just your close friends and relatives, but those people who are in and out of your daily life. Drop a friendly word. Perform a random act of kindness. Simply, listen. And if necessary, provide a home for the Holidays.