From Where I Sit

By Pat Spilseth, Columnist

French Existentialist writer Albert Camus wrote “In the midst of winter I found there was within me an invincible summer.”

Today my windows are covered with crystalline frost, spider webs of feathery ice formations. Obviously, a draft is present, stealing heat from my house. However, the mosaic patterns are lovely. On this frigid, frosty day, I see beauty outside my windows. Inside, I feel cozy warmth. I’m content.

Yes, I understand Camus’ thoughts. His words pertain to how I think about winter in Minnesota. There’s a very visible death of color. But winter’s icy beauty is apparent in its white coldness. Snowdrifts are ground sculptures. Patterns appear on the frozen lake: twin skis of cross-country skiers; blades of skaters playing hockey; sled tracks of parents pulling their bundled babies; and boot prints of daily walkers trudging across the lake with their dogs.

Ice houses create tiny villages of friends gathering to supposedly fish, but actually some are seeking either solace or the company of pals sharing their same interest, catching the BIG ONE. Toasty inside their shacks, they drink coffee, or something stronger, and play cards, fish and remember the good times of last summer or fishing last winter.

Trees don themselves in new dresses. Empty black branches are lonely silhouettes against the gray ski. Gardens retain only hardy stems and cone pods of their past beauty. No longer visible are their October gowns of reds and oranges; summer’s splendor no longer brings pink and white blossoms to the plum and apple trees.

Change is apparent in nature as well as within ourselves. Rarely do we enjoy living in the present. We deny the end of summer; in winter, we think of spring. In an endless summer, we dream of cool fall evenings. Hope remains for another season of life. To live in this Minnesota winter, one has to have hope that summer will return.

Winter is an aging process, a cycle of life and death. We live through life-altering changes, just like nature’s changing seasons. We go through Elizabeth Kuber-Ross’ stages of grief/change: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and eventual acceptance.

By January we’re tired of the darkness and horrendous heating bills: we become angry. We want OUT OF THIS PLACE!

But when we get a day of sunshine and rising temperatures, we bargain with nature…just a few more days… spring is going to come again.

However, when we have a January like we’re experiencing, some of us experience depression, a sadness, regret and fear that winter will go on for months more, seemingly forever.

By April we’ve accepted our fate: winter is ending; the hope of spring can be seen in budding trees, crocus emerging through the frozen ground and robins returning to feed at my kitchen window feeder.

Each winter of my life I recall Camus’ words: “In the midst of winter, I discover within me an invincible summer.” I put the quote in my memory bank to give me hope each February. Hopefully, Camus’ words will bring sunshine to your life too.

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To contact Pat, email: pat.spilseth@gmail.com.