From Where I Sit

By Pat Spilseth, Columnist

“God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.” Jewish proverb

Now that my Kate and Andy are grown, having children of their own, I’ve been wondering what my kids remember about their childhood. What do they remember about their childhood with Mom and Dad in the eighties? Were we stodgy, role models or duds to them?

Will they remember saying prayers at night when they knelt by their beds, folded their little hands and prayed “God bless mommy, daddy, my sister/brother, my grandmas and numerous friends named separately? Eventually, I had to say “Time to go to bed now.” But they’d continue, “Read another story and please bring me ……”

When my kids’ innocent little lips tried swearing, will they recall Mom forcing that white bar of Ivory soap into their mouths? That was my Mom’s punishment when I experimented with “bad” words; naturally, I assumed soap in the mouth was the best punishment. I tried, just once. 

Will they remember munching on fresh baked chocolate chip cookies after school and sitting at our kitchen table for warm suppers? Will they remember baking Christmas candy cane cookies of red and white dough twists, sprinkled with peppermint? Will their Christmas tree be decorated with ornaments they created in grade school or will they purchase elegant, matching ornaments? Will family traditions of Norwegian smorgasbords and St. Lucia celebrations, Advent calendars and sending cards be part of their lives? I’ll continue to give them yearly Advent calendars in hopes that their children will love this tradition.

“Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.” Unknown author

Will they remember snacks Mom sent by a pulley up to the tree house the boys built? Andy and his neighborhood buddies played for years in that tree house of a million nails and carpet squares. Will they remember jumping off the dock to my waiting arms when they began playing in the lake? Will they remember minnows biting their little bodies? Will they remember the picture books we read together on the sofa? What about the tooth fairy whose rates for loose teeth increased yearly?

Maybe they’ll remember Mom saying, “practice your piano lesson; did you finish your homework; did you say thank you and please?” They might remember turning red with embarrassment when Mom asked their friends, “What do you say?” when the kid forgot to say thanks. 

Will they remember Mom holding them, as they sobbed over their sadness with a pet’s death, disappointment with a grade or a romance gone bad. I pray they’ll remember some solace from Mom for their aches. 

“Mother–That was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries.” T. De Witt Telmage

Will they remember Mom and Dad’s faces filled with pride when their kids earned places on the school honor role? Will they remember their parents clapping at each sports and musical event, beaming at their graduation ceremonies and as they paraded in their finery at prom’s Grand March?

Will they remember Mom quizzing them at breakfast with their spelling words or trying to figure out those puzzling math problems or science projects? Do they recall working with Mom on their assigned essays and editing their college applications?

Will they remember Mom’s reactions when they brought home that special guy or girl who had won their heart? Will they remember “Turn down that music!” when Mom’s ears couldn’t stand the noise of hip-hop and endless video games? 

Will they remember the bunny and carrot dress Mom attempted sewing for Kate’s Easter or the teddy bear birthday bibs, the Magic Fairy wands and the dinosaur T-shirts we painted for Andy’s birthday parties? Will they recall saying, “Mom, don’t let my friends see you with me at the bus stop. They’ll tease me.”

“Anyone who doesn’t miss the past never had a mother.” Gregory Nunn

We moms are human beings. Maybe we weren’t always the mother you wished us to be, but, rest assured, we tried our best to be loving, supportive mothers. Sometimes we’re stressed, tired or angry when kids don’t listen or disappoint the high hopes we have for you. Certainly, there will be times when we may not like what you do or say. But we’ll always love you. Just like we read in Margaret Wise Brown’s book The Runaway Bunny, we’ll always find you and keep on loving you. We’ll always be YOUR MOM. 

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To contact Pat, email: pat.spilseth@gmail.com.