View From a Prairie Home

by Hege Hernfindahl, Columnist

It’s the season for endings and beginnings. Two of my grandchildren are graduating from high school and starting college; one in Virginia and one in Wisconsin. We ask them what they want to study and what they want to be. So many decisions for an eighteen-year-old. They both had the privilege of being brought up in our affluent society where they could just go to school. And even though they both had jobs, it was only a side thing. They never had to stop school to help support their families like teens of yore. So they have only a vague idea of adulthood and what that entails. I think that as they handle being on their own, their own selves will solidify and emerge as will their career-paths.

I didn’t set out to become a teacher, it just evolved. But as I look back on my childhood, I realize I loved creative play and to be in charge, both characteristics of a teacher. As a young child, growing up east of Oslo in a suburb with lots of children my age, I invented plays where I was the main character. Then, I bossed the other kids into playing minor roles.

My love of acting increased in high school and I told my parents I wanted to become an actress. I was sure of my talent. My father asked one of his friends who was a professional actor to talk to me. He told me about the brutal day-to-day life of an actor. Most people, if they made it on stage, would not have roles that required an understudy, so they basically had no personal days. It made me wonder, so I started at the University of Oslo with only a vague idea of what I would study. I wasn’t bad in school, but I never shone in anything except acting. I wasn’t patient and clever, so I couldn’t study law. I wasn’t good in science, so I couldn’t study medicine. My parents were both economists, but that wasn’t my talent either.  So, I studied languages, even though I didn’t think that was easy either.

Then, I met Grant and after we had lived in Oslo for a while, we moved to his family’s farm in West-Central Minnesota and had three children in five years. I loved being a mother, but I also needed a career. I was asked to teach evening classes in Norwegian and found teaching fun. I loved seeing my students learn to speak and understand Norwegian, so I started at the University of Minnesota, which conveniently was also located in Morris. I got a job right away teaching English, German and later also Norwegian in the Belgrade-Brooten area.

Teaching high school is exhausting as well as exhilarating. I sometimes had more than 80 students a day and it’s hard to see the results of what you are doing with that many students, but I tried to provide a safe environment for them so they could learn. I tried to treat them with respect so they would treat me with the same respect. Sometimes I succeeded. Those that were able to speak the language and interested, would travel with me to Germany or Norway. That too was exhausting, but I loved seeing my students communicate in a foreign language in a culture different from small-town Minnesota.

Grant always said that 80% of people think they are among the top 20% in their field. But I didn’t feel the need to compete with the other, cooler teachers, I just tried my best. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. I never really reflected if I had an impact. But I felt I had a purpose. To teach. To be as good of a teacher as I could. I was busy and life was good.

But in my old age, life has dealt me with two terrifying and life-changing blows of losing two sons in two years. Some days, the pain makes it hard to even breathe. Then one day, I got two invitations from my former students. One for a wedding. One for a celebration of a Ph.D. In both cases I was told I was special. I had made a difference. I had been a safe space for a young soul. I had opened up the world for a person that felt like an outsider in a small town. I will never get over losing two sons, but maybe my life has had purpose for which I am grateful.