From Where I Sit

By Pat Spilseth, Columnist

I hear the buzzing of lawn mowers and smell fresh cut grass as I clean the deck furniture. Shouts echo across the water as dockers take an unexpected dip into the cold April waters of Minnetonka. Lake dwellers can’t wait any longer to put the dock in the water, the boat, jet skis and pontoon. Everyone is waiting for summertime pleasures: sunning on the dock, swimming and water skiing.

All year long we wait. Little kids and parents wait for school days in the fall. We wait, enduring bitter winter temperatures, snowfalls and heating bills, but by March, we perk up as temperatures rise to 40. This April, temps have risen to 80 degrees! No matter how cold, April means that we get out our shorts and T-shirts and uncover the grill on the deck. On sunny days, we can’t wait to put the rag top down on the convertible. I stretch my clothesline on the deck to hang and dry my sheets, which smell so good when I crawl into bed.

Waiting is a constant in our game of life. Little tykes can’t wait to walk, ride a tricycle, then a big bike. Kids can hardly wait to climb on the bus and go to school. Kids wait to date, to belong to a varsity team and drive a car. Sending out job resumes is a huge waiting game. We wait for the right person to find us. We wait for wedding bells to ring. When babies arrive, the waiting game starts the cycle all over again.

Most of us wait anxiously, hoping our kids find a good job, the perfect marriage partner. We wait for grandchildren, whom we can cuddle and spoil, then send home with mom and dad. Then we wait for the grandkids’ graduations and eventual wedding.

Stop the world from spinning so fast! As we grow older, many of us want time to slow down. We want to be around to celebrate our kids’ wedding, our grandchildren’s baptisms, graduations and weddings. I don’t want to miss any of these important events.

But time doesn’t stand still. We had children in our thirties. The brutal fact is I may not be around to celebrate with grandkids. Today, people are living longer, due to good health care and nutrition, maybe some terrific family genes. Some actually live to 100! But do we really want to live long lives if we’re sick or in pain? At what age does someone think, “I’ve lived too long; I’m ready to die”?

    This month my book club read “Tuck Everlasting” by Natalie Babbitt. The idea was to explore if we would choose to live forever and never age. Eight of us tossed around the idea of living forever, which nobody chose. However, if we would chose to live forever, which age would we always want to be and why? We’d have to keep moving to new locations as folks would wonder why we never aged, why we outlived them, their kids and grandkids. We’d keep losing friends and have to make new friends forever…what a conundrum!

Our life is a waiting game. Though we can eat right and exercise, keep medical appointments and brush our teeth, we have little control over when or how we’ll die. We simply have to wait. Meanwhile, we try to live full lives. This past year several of my friends have died, people too young to die. That magical age of “young” and the age I consider to be “old” keeps changing for me. Turning 60, 70 and 80 is certainly not the way I felt at 30! My body feels the years, but my brain is adamant that I’m really not as ancient as the number tells me!

It surprises me to see pictures of people I know on the obit pages. They’re too young! But a smile forces its way to my face when I spy spritely 100 year olds. Hooray for their long lives! Hopefully, their lives have been filled with joy and success.

Grandchildren keep many living full lives. Many folks are lucky to have friends who check in with daily telephone “Hi’s.” That expected phone call can make life worth getting out of bed in the morning. As we age, we count on our friends more and more.

Others are waiting to die. Perhaps they’re in pain or have lost their hearing, sight or have trouble walking and problems with teeth. Maybe they’re simply sick of pills. Some have no family or friends alive or nearby to visit. They’re worn out. They’ve given up on living. Heaven beckons some; others feel the life they lead on earth is their daily heaven or hell.   

Life is a waiting game. Enjoy each moment.

* * * * * * * *

To contact Pat, email: pat.spilseth@gmail.com.